When CIBC’s International Professionals Network invited me to speak at their Signature Event – in front of nearly 1,000 professionals, in person and online – I knew immediately what I wanted to explore. And then I spent weeks trying to talk myself out of it.
Because the topic was controversial. Nuanced. The kind of subject that makes people shift in their seats.
Four words.
“Where are you from?”
The Professional World Has Largely Decided: Don’t Ask.
When I completed my Business Etiquette Train the Trainer certification with the world-renowned Emily Post Institute, the guidance was clear – never ask this question in a professional setting.
A protocol officer who had previously worked with the US Navy agreed. DEI practitioners called it a landmine. HR professionals flagged it as legally sensitive.
And I understood why. For many people – especially visible minorities, those who carry an accent, or those who have spent their lives explaining themselves to people who never had to – this question carries a weight that most people never stop to consider. Asked carelessly, it can signal that someone doesn’t quite belong. That their presence requires explanation.
That is a real and valid concern. And it deserves our respect.
But Is It Really That Simple…? Here’s where it gets complicated.
My own experience with this question has been almost entirely the opposite.
As an immigrant from Trinidad who grew up across multiple countries and cultures, this question has opened more doors for me than almost any other conversation starter. I’ve seen it spark extraordinary connections. I’ve watched it make people feel genuinely seen in a way that small talk never could.
So is this a question you should never ask? Or is it one of the most powerful tools for human connection in professional life?
The honest answer is – it depends. And that nuance is exactly what I explored in my keynote.
This question isn’t a yes or no. It’s not simply appropriate or inappropriate. What determines how it lands is intention, timing, context, and what comes after it. Asked well – with genuine curiosity, at the right moment, with care for the person in front of you – it can be transformative. Asked poorly – without rapport, without care, or worse, from a place of suspicion – it can do real harm.
The skill lies not in avoiding the question entirely. It lies in knowing when, how, and whether to ask it at all.
In the keynote I share personal stories, real examples of this question going right and going wrong, and the GRACE Framework – a practical five-part guide for navigating this question with curiosity, care, and confidence.
Whether you’ve been asked this one too many times – or you’ve asked it and felt the air shift – I think this talk is for you.
▶️ Watch the Full Talk
📥 Download the free GRACE Framework.
One Question for You
Has this question ever opened a door for you – or made you want to close one?
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. This is exactly the conversation I want to keep having.
About the Author
Trina Boos is the Founder and CEO of Boost Academy of Excellence, where she helps professionals master workplace etiquette and business skills for today’s evolving work environment. Drawing from her experience as former CEO of Boost Agents, Trina has placed thousands of professionals in leading organizations across North America.
Want more workplace insights like this? Subscribe to our newsletter for practical tips delivered directly to your inbox.
Learn more about our training programs:
– Corporate Training Programs
– Individual Courses
